The Future's Bright The Future's...

A combined public municipal building housing the local council offices, the public library, the registry office and god knows what else, probably a swimming pool and a health spa sponsored by Preparation-H.

My sister in-law recently went down to her local library with her daughter to find that it had been closed down, seemingly without any fore-warning. My sister in-law stated that this must be because ‘only my children and I are ever here.’ This closure of libraries is happening up and down the whole nation and why the media has been all wrapped up in the phone-hacking scandal the future of the library has been discussed behind open but ignored doors. So what could the future be?

One idea put forward by the local government association and the MLA (the museums, libraries and archives council) is that the libraries could shared there space with the council offices, police stations, NHS surgeries, local museums, health spars and sports centres. All based in one large, possibly purpose built, super hub. The centre of community, all things to all people, and no doubt in their minds, the minds of the LGA and the MLA, it would be somewhere that would be full of light and life, clean, well kept and well funded. I would just like to ask where is all the money going to come from to fund these ‘Super centres’? To look and any of Leeds’s council offices or police stations it is easy to see that there is no room in the existing buildings in the centre, even the library is running out of space. So where, pray tell, would these centres be? There is of course another problem with this idea. Exactly how local will these ‘Local’ centres be? My sister in-law for instance lives a good twenty minute drive outside of the city centre, is she really going to frequent this super hub. Thats twenty minutes in clear traffic by the way, a rare thing. SO how local is local? If this idea can save the large city centre libraries what is the hope for the smaller local libraries?

Another idea for these smaller libraries is it trying to get them to remain open through some sort of corporate sponsorship, either by local, national or international businesses. No, it is the wonderful mobile library. The small collection of books that travel just for you to find that they have no books of use or turn up a different times on different days every week. Is this really the answer? Or is it now that the true idea of society, not the big society of the Conservative party but the local community, to step forward?I have a fairly large collection of books and it is people like myself who may just save the idea of the local library. If the libraries are closing what is happening to their stock? Who will inherit those well loved and thumbed books that have a smell that takes me back to my childhood? Well if there is some kind hearted individual with space and an inclination could they not take on the role as the village or small town librarian. Is the future of the small town/village library a small town philanthropist? Is the future a house full of books using library thing as a reference system? (www.librarything.com) Is this what the small public library will look like?

Is this its new front door?

(All be it on its side.)

And I am not saying this should be done for free, surely if the libraries are closing a payment of say £20,000 a year would not be to much to pay someone to keep this facility available? Maybe it could be arranged by appointment as well, like booking a table at a restaurant, well no ones house is that big and the person must be allowed to take time to go to get shopping etc... I am not saying that this idea is perfect but you know what, it might just work.

THAT IS ALL.

And now, as is now the tradition. Todays recipe.

Broad Bean Balls.

Shell about a kilo of broad beans, blanch for about thirty seconds in boiling water and then take off the skins. In a food processor (its the easiest way) blend a good handful of coriander, two chilies (more if you want them hot, less if you want them mild) salt and pepper and the broad beans. add a little flour until the mix if fairly stiff, add some roughly chopped spring onions (about two for some crunch). make the mix into small balls and deep fry for about a minute or until the outside is dark brown then place on some kitchen towel to drain off any excess oil and serve hot with mint yogurt dip, or treat them just like falafel's.

Enjoy, I am off to watch the Sweeney, The Sweeney, ba ba ba ba ba ba baaaaaa
you slag!

Six men in a bus.

06:57 02/07/2011.

Possibly my last will and testament.

So the adventure starts, 15 minutes late but starts all the same. A mini bus full of testosterone and aftershave heading to the border. When I first thought about doing the three peaks, Ben Nevis, snowdon and scarfell pike, I thought it would be a laugh. Now I am not so sure. (my god someone is wearing JOOP!) well I am all set, got my adventure boots (booty boos) my adventure hat, my adventure trousers, adventure shirt and last but not least my adventure tie. Can't climb a mountain without a tie I'm sure that's some kind of law. Let's see how long people last before the talk turns to porn shall we.

08:43

well we just stopped for breakfast at one little shitty motorway service thing, overpriced coffee and all that jazz. Brought my own so don't have to eat that crap. Attempted to sleep for a bit in the van but just ended up listening to slackbladder goes forth. The conversation did turn to porn in the services, something about Kate Middleton having a cumcup butt, think I can see how that works. Second shift.

13:23

well just got back on the road after a pub lunch of fish and chips on the shore of loch lomand, with the added extra of two pint of the finest. We picked up the last member of our gang so now the fellowship is complete. There is far to much sports talk on this trip and we have to get to the bottom of Nevis by the time the boxing starts even if it means starting another walk in the dark and on the night of a new moon as well. So far sleep has been far from easy and I think it will continue to be. My brothers feet are a wee bit stinky already and he's only been driving. They will all have the pleasure of my smell joys tonight and me with no door eaters, tut tut.

15:16

we have reached 'The Ben' and now it is time to start to get ready for the charge up the mountain. Now I start to thing why the fuck do we do this to ourselves, why does man( that's the male men) feel the need to prove themselves? Guess we are back to the whole penis thing that I mentioned not so long ago. The thing is that I count myself amongst these people and I am looking forward to it. Why am I? Guess it's because I need to see what my braking point is and to see if I can go past it. Next year, at the moment, I intend to either walk but more than likely ride to Marrakech and this could be counted as my tester, could it?

21:08

we started at 15:55 and got back down about twenty thirty minutes ago. Two and a half hours to the top, two hours twenty back down, mainly my fault I must say. My knee is now strapped up and I have had a few painkillers. Was this a good idea? Should I be a captain Oates and go outside for some time so I don't slow the others down? Or should I try and get some kip on this five hour drive, take some more painkillers, use some deep heat and grit my teeth and get on with it? Well my family motto is 'Why the hell not' so I guess that answers that, doesn't it? By the way I have been told that the most attractive women on the mountain was either wearing a pink top or was a blonde, who knows.
23:20

been made to listen to the boxing.

02:29 03/07/2011

just arriving a scarfell pike, my god the road is rather ropy, sheep asleep in the middle of the road and blind corners and what's even worse a dodgy driver. Let's see if we get to the base shall we?

02:55

well we are about to set off, knee not to bad but this climb is pretty much straight up and then straight down.

07:49

just call me two peaks bob, for I am a broken man. The challenge is over for me. My knee isI so painful I could hardly walk down but still. Made a fairly good time, well the boys are still on track to complete the challenge and I guess I could go to the pub. This road is awful so will write later and give a full overview of this silly idea.

i think i should end it there, much more dramatic, might make you think i had fallen off of a cliff.

well this is a little late but better late than never. this whole enterprise was fun no matter what the pain and i plan to try again next year and to do the yorkshire three peaks in september.

no recipe today as this is not a rant but an insight into an experience, i did get to the pub by the way.

please if you enjoy or even just read any of these post could you post the link on your Facebook page and give me a thumbs up. Thanks all.

sheesh

As I sit in a Byronic pose, smoking fine dark Turkish tobacco, dressed in the national costume of Albania (jeans, t-shirt, stubble and a smoking hat) I happen to see waiting at the public transport halting area the bane/banes of my life. CHILDREN. Loud, noisy, snotty nosed, ill mannered children, O‘ and whats this next to the children is the degenerated, swamp like, primordial ooze ejecting, hell hole of human DNA that is the parents.

Now not all children are to be disliked, just as not all parent discharge such (to borrow a phrase) sexcrement. Is child bearing a right or should it be a privilege? In a world where the population is expected to grow at a rate which will see us overrun and out-sourced within a matter of decades, is it right that the pits of humanity are allowed to continue breeding? Is it right that in an age of austerity that those with no money, no job, no prospects and no education are allowed to take money out of the pockets of those with such things? And is it fair that those with no children should pay for those with?

For this is more a case of outrage at the self sustaining state supported continuation of these breeding packs, those of five generations of pushchairs with only 40 decades between them. What checks and balances could be put in place to halt such an onslaught?

Question one:

Holding up several different items of clothing, ask which is appropriate clothing for everyday wear, if they point at a track suit and the person being questioned is a man continue to ask “Where are the pockets?” If he points to the waistband and where his underwear would be....... Chop off his cock.

This is just an idea, i am sure all of you could come up with questions, maybe if we all submitted our questions to the department in charge of such tests the first question should be “how many questions are there?” If they can’t count to such a number.... Off with his cock, or tie up those ovaries ( in the same way as “bring on the wall”). These people would then be given the chance to improve themselves, self financed, and allowed to retake the test when they see fit, if they pass then they may progress to the privilege of state supported child bearing, with all the perks that it brings.

As I said this is all just an idea at one way to fix this ‘Broken Britain’, halt global warming,

reinvigorate the economy and free up space and pacify my Bus.